Matrimony for a second marriage

Said once, plainly

Every profile carries a marital status: never married, divorced, widowed, awaiting divorce or annulled. It is stated the same way for everyone and in the same place, so there is no paragraph to write explaining it, and no moment three conversations in when it has to come out.

Children have their own question: no children, yes and living with me, or yes and not living with me. So does the other side of it, whether you are open to a partner who has children, where yes, no, depends and prefer not to say are all answers. Both sit on the profile for anyone who can see it.

Marital status is also a search filter and can be a must-have, in either direction. Someone widowed can look only for people who have been married before; someone divorced can leave it wide open. Anyone who opens your profile sees what you asked for in a partner and whether they meet it, so the people who write have already read it.

Awaiting divorce, and what the law says

Awaiting divorce is an honest answer and a common one. It also has a legal edge worth knowing before anyone talks about a wedding date.

• In New Zealand the Family Court can dissolve a marriage once the couple have lived apart for two years. The dissolution order takes effect a month after it is made, and neither person can remarry before then. The marriage licence form asks how any earlier marriage ended and when.
• In Australia an application for divorce needs twelve months’ separation, and the divorce order takes effect one month after it is made. The celebrant must see the divorce order, or the death certificate of a late husband or wife, before the wedding, and a Notice of Intended Marriage given while a divorce is pending cannot go ahead until the divorce has taken effect.

None of this is legal advice: a family lawyer is the person to ask about your own case. Registering a marriage in New Zealand and registering a marriage in Australia cover the paperwork for the wedding itself.

When people already know the story

What stops many people starting again is not the search. It is being seen: by the first family, by the guests at the first wedding, by a community where everyone heard.

On Rishta there is no public gallery. Photos are private until you approve a particular person, and then the two of you see each other’s. A woman chooses who can find her at all: every approved man, only the men who meet what she asked for, or nobody except a matchmaker. Phone numbers and emails never appear on a profile, and every profile has passed an ID check, a document and a live selfie read by a person, before anyone can see it.

For those who would rather not be on search in any form, Rishta Elite takes the profile out of it completely. A matchmaker makes approaches on your behalf, discreetly and one at a time, and nobody learns you are looking unless you choose to tell them. It is by invitation, for three months at a time, and the matchmaker page explains how it works.

Families, the second time

For a second marriage, parents are often more involved than they were the first time, not less. A parent can make and manage the profile, which then says it is managed by family, and the son or daughter checks their own ID before it goes live, because the decision is theirs. Relatives who have not joined can be shown a Family View page, and a matchmaker can talk with the family once the member agrees. If the families still swap a biodata first, the free biodata maker has a marital status line and leaves off anything you leave blank.

At any age

People look again in their thirties, forties, fifties and later, and the search is built for it: your own age range, your own must-haves, and no preference wherever you want to leave things open. Joining is free for everyone until 31 December 2026, whatever their marital status.